A little Late night story.

I want to tell you a little story. It’s almost three in the a.m. and I am wide awake. I can’t stop thinking. So I took a shower, not only because I couldn’t sleep but because it’s hotter than hell it self and I couldn’t sleep if some one paid me to.

I am the type of person that when I see a bug no matter what kind it is I have to scream and kill the little shit like it was a devil. But tonight I did some thing that has significant meaning to me, and possibly only me. I watched this bug on the bathroom floor, at first I wanted to kill it but I am in a different set of mind tonight, the thinking set. I watched this bug he obviously was hurt or something because he wasn’t walking to good, or what ever bugs do…crawl I guess. I did something stupid that I shouldn’t have done, I thought I would make myself feel better by not killing it and throwing a dirty towel over it and shoving it by the dirty clothes basket. I got into the shower for a good 7 or so minute and hopped out. I looked down on the floor and there he was! Assuming it was a he, I kind of sat there naked in a towel god smacked. I wanted to know why and where he was so determined to go. So I sat there, naked still thinking about how hard the hard ugly green thing was working to get to nowhere. Possibly just crawling to get away from the weird place he (or it) was in.

So being very careful, I got that bug and I let him (it) out of the front door. It had worked so hard for almost nothing and in the end he probably will die in a couple days but at least I know it’s not my fault. I was proud of myself. Stupid, yeah I know but then again no one has a say in what I think and what I can be proud of myself over.

This leads me to my story, as to why I’m actually typing. I type because one day I want people to learn from me. A silly nonsense filled 18 years old that has no idea where life will take me (that’s the way I like it).

A good start off to what I want to say, Ill try to keep on track but I often get lost and type about shit that happened about 70 minutes ago.

Waiting… is a game best played when you have a sponsored team like monster…at least you have a drink, otherwise waiting is no longer a game but a stress.

That is a motto, I guess I want to learn by and live by. I’d much rather take the monster. The situation I am in is not one that I intend to be blunt about and describe but I will tell you that right now, my brain hurts, literally, emotionally, physically. Any sense your thinking, it’s in pain. I have never been so tortured by time in my life. To figure out one small answer. It’s like that one time I had a crush on little Jimmy back in fourth grade and wrote him a love note asking him to write back, telling me if he loved me just the same. Ha, only to get a reply from him with something along the lines of…”Ewwww gross Meaghan Farris, you’re icky.”

This entry doesn’t make since and it doesn’t have to, because I don’t write for anyone but myself on here. And if you don’t get what I am saying then that is okay.

BUT…

I’ll expand another day, until then. Good night.